Washington lawmakers love to complain that budget deficits are “mortgaging our childrens future”. Indeed. I am mortgaging my own future by taking out student loans and working to attain my degree. I do this because my elders have told me that under such circumstances debt is a GOOD thing. So I ask the declared leaders of my state: is the debt I am incurring to earn my degree worth it? And if so, why isn’t it worth it to the state of Nevada?
The message I am receiving is that my education has no value. It is a waste of money and I am a waste of your resources. You probably aren’t even reading this letter because my insignificance is so daunting that it exhausts you to consider the fate of your actual constituents.
So, instead of mortgaging our childrens future Nevada seeks to deny that future. Better ignorant than in debt, right? This incongruous argument leads me to wonder exactly who’s agenda Nevada lawmakers are serving? Because it damn sure isn’t “the children” as your empty rhetoric insists.
Lets be completely honest: Nevada Lawmakers are not prepared to sacrifice anything they value to balance the budget. You have proved yourselves hopelessly impotent in terms of budget control. The only hope for Nevada rests on the backs of future leaders who will be forced to confront this debt. As our deficit inheritance continues to rise, you seek to revoke our education, too? DREAM PIRATES! This will ensure that the future custodians of the debt you deferred are both uneducated and dependent on welfare. In other words, we will contribute to the problem rather than solving it. This will be your legislative legacy.
Your budget cuts amount to the intellectual rape and economic sabotage of the very progeny you claim to be protecting. This reveals you as nefarious criminals embezzling our future with the false promise of a balanced budget that will never materialize. Your complete disregard for civil responsibility is treasonous and your monumental effort to defile our state disgusts me.
I thought I was needed as a contributing member of society. Unlike you treacherous “representatives” I am a patriot. But my government would rather sentence me to a lifetime of poverty and dependence than extend to me the opportunity promised to me by virtue of being an American. If your reckless agenda is allowed to proceed Las Vegas will soon be lit only by the fire of burning trash cans and patronized only by vagrants that you birthed in the great education massacre of 2010.
I EMPHATICALLY CONDEMN THESE BUDGET CUTS AND HOLD THE STATE IN CONTEMPT MERELY FOR SUGGESTING THEM. If you want a balanced budget then a future generation of educated leaders is what you need to accomplish that. That expense is the “good debt” that is always worth it in the long run. If you continue to endorse this educational terrorism, I will be sure to put the word out that the American Dream has been abolished in the State of Nevada.
So since the University is practically cramming Latin American Studies down my throat I guess its my minor now. That is probably not good since I basically think dissent is amazing. I bet next they will make me study the French Revolution and I will be forced to found my own pro-guillotine movement and I bet that shit would still come out more intelligent than the Teabagger thing.
Oh yeah, this is what pisses me off about the Teabaggers: they are all incomprehensibly in love with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy. HOWEVER they call themselves “Teabaggers” which by definition is the one act repressed soldiers can use to communicate their love to one another. (Dear Marine Corps, I don’t care if you sleep with women, dangling your genitals on another mans face is not “bonding”– its just gay.) And by the way Teabaggers who hate homos: DADT Policy? CLINTON! That’s right. You’re welcome.
Meanwhile in my bounteous studies of Latin America every teacher is basically obsessed with Che Guevara. Like there is a ton of emphasis on Che. And I am not positive, but I’m pretty sure its because he is dead. Do you see teenagers walking around wearing shirts with the faces of other Latin American guerrilla fighters on them? No. So there I am reading my assignment, Che Guevara’s Bolivian diary and he is all “today I ate a pony and some cat and I had a bath for the first time in months.” Then I realized that there can never be a revolution again ever because if Che Guevara was trying to overthrow the government of Bolivia today he would totally be blogging that shit. The CIA would totally catch him in a Bolivian Starbucks trying to blog all incognito and shit. The revolution would fail because, sadly, there is no wireless in the jungle. And everyone knows successful protests are carried out by tweet these days.
The reason I say that about Che being dead is because Castro like had anus cancer or something and he seems a lot less cool now. Revolutionaries don’t get ass treatments. But I still tried to get a visa to go to Cuba to check it out as a part of my education. They said no and now I’m on America’s terrorist watch list. But whatever, we all know I have been on that list since I purchased the Communist Manifesto on Amazon like two years ago. FOR MY STUDIES, of course. And by the way, in case anyone is wondering, no one tweets in Cuba. So obviously communism has its flaws. I would investigate the twitter problem in Cuba but I CAN’T because I live in the bestest most free-est country ever!
In retrospect my visa probably got denied because I wanted to do research about why people in Cuba can’t tweet. This is why I can’t believe anyone is giving me a diploma. The most pressing question on my mind about the great Socialist Revolution in Cuba pretty much boils down to social networking. I keep waiting to turn into a serious scholar but the closer I come to the end, the more I realize that I will always wonder shit like this. And probably awkwardly and OUT LOUD.
In conclusion I think it was Che Guevara who gave Communism a bad rep. Because I would seriously have tons of doubts about your moral character if you told me you killed and ate a pony and a cat. I would judge you if I read that shit on your blog. Like seriously, if you eat cats I think your political philosophy is dubious. And I am a professional political scientist. And I would stop reading your blog, also.
Dear dude in the back of my class who is wearing flip flops, basketball shorts and a sweatshirt and sitting with your legs AJAR: Living in Las Vegas is does not give you a license not to own pants. What, are you from Wisconsin or something? It is pretty obvious from your lack of attire that you are some kind of jock-hole who is trying to act all intellectual and whatnot.
Attendance at this University is not an indication of intelligence. Call me when you get into Harvard, genius. Can you even spell Thucydides? The answer is no, no you can not. So stop engaging in some compelling conversation with the teacher in your Bill and Ted voice about how the ancient people had thoughts and stuff.
Some people have shit to do. Like read Thucydides. OH THAT’S RIGHT, you have to read it too. The worst part is that this guy is probably like the future Republican Senator of Nevada or some shit. Maybe then he will have some pants. OR NOT. Not if he uses Senator Ensign the Amazing as an example. I forgot, in Nevada Politics, pants are optional.
So today I had a baton death march by final. And by the third one I was a little bit okay with it because I thought I was being all cogent and rational and shit. Turns out I suck at finals because on this one there was some question about what I would do if I was in charge of a gun-control interest group to garnish support among the masses who technically support stricter gun control laws but don’t actually care enough to like do stuff about it.
And I regurgitated my facts and everything and then I rapidly devolved into how I would wait for some awful fear inspiring event that would strike terror into the hearts of America and then I would CAPITALIZE on that event by scaring people some more and acting all like they would die if they didn’t support my gun-control cause. Then once the fear wore off I would have to do something to keep it alive or I would lose support for my interest group. And what its not like we can have an awesome magazine about shooting things like the NRA to keep people interested in our crazy counter culture…
So I was like then we need some kind of fear inspiring Willy Horton video. Or maybe THE Willy Horton video except instead of saying Dukakis let this douchebag out instead it should say SOME DOUCHEBAG GAVE THIS GUY A GUN. Plus I am pretty sure I threw something in there about a terrifying mailer. An extra GLOSSY one because only high gloss can instill the type of fear that is necessary to garnish actual political action among a bunch of apathetic voters, right?
So I’m not sure how I did on that one but I am pretty sure this means I am the next Karl Rove.
I am not sure where this hostility is coming from because I was not hostile towards you. Your rude responses have been completely unprovoked. But since hostility is what you are responding to, let me put it this way…
If you don’t have “time” to address any of my concerns then I don’t have “time” to “care” about your box-related problems. I gave you an opportunity to pick up the boxes, a short-notice 5 hour window for which I forced my husband to make himself be available to meet your needs. The same you gave me except plus an extra hour because I am exactly 1 hour more courteous than you are, apparently. It is a bit ironic that you get so upset when other people inconvenience you, but you are not at all concerned when you do it to others. Unless the latest edition of Webster’s contains a drastic revision, that is the very definition of hypocrisy.
Just in case the intention of this email eludes you, what it comes down to is this: YOU’RE WELCOME for everything I have done so far and I do not accept your apology. Please accept my sincere congratulations for your accomplishment of proving once and for all, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is not just religious extremists that possess the oh-so-attractive quality of acting like sanctimonious, selfish parasites. Your leadership skills continue to astound me.
I already have a family and a child and evidently GOD to boss me around. I do not need it in my extracurricular activities. Just for clarification that means I quit. Lose my email because you are blocked. With all the respect that you deserve, peace out, k thnx bye.
